literature

Who is Jack?

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Literature Text

It is cold and quiet in the subways. One light flickers on and off with blinding light in the darkness. Jack is standing there, waiting along with a dozen of other people. He looks around and notices that everybody is minding their own business. They are all just standing there, lost in their own thoughts. And nobody acknowledges that the others are there, everybody ignores everybody who isn’t them. Why should I acknowledge them then, Jack thinks.
The screeching noise from a stopping metro. Everybody hates that noise, but nobody shows it. All their faces keep staring at something that’s not there, no muscle moves. The doors open and people step out. All with the same face: no one intends to meet eyes, nor do they realise that they bump into eachother, or apologize that they do. And before their shadows have left the undergrounds, the other people, who are standing on the platform with Jack, start refilling the now empty spaces in the metro. More screeching noise and the metro starts riding again, leaving Jack alone on the platform. No difference with before; Jack always feels alone.
The flickering lights distract him from his earlier thoughts. As he looks at a moth plagued by it, he can see his own breath coming from his mouth. He follows it as it dissappears towards the exit, but then he notices a figure sitting in a corner near the entrance, where the light from the lamps cannot reach her. A small girl in a skirt. Her face hidden in her arms. It is only now that he notices her soft moaning over the noise of the flickering light. Jack looks around him. All the other people had left. He approaches her, while every step he takes echoes through the subways. The girl stops moaning. Jack stops walking, as if almost surprised that she took notice of him. She lifts her head a little, so that two glistening eyes are visible. They look at eachother for a few seconds.
“Jack...” she speaks with a soft voice, sounding sweet if not for the eerie moaning seconds before. “Yes, I’m here. Are you alr…” Jack stops in the middle of his sentence. He frowns and bends in a vain attempt to see more of her face. “Who are you?” She in turn does not take her eyes off of his, and follows his every movement. Her eyes look bright blue, maybe even grey, but it’s too dark to know for sure.
“My name is Fikira.” She says. Jack is frowning even more, and he stands straight again. He has never heard of that name before. “Do I… know you?” She responds very quickly.
“I don’t know.” Chills down his spine. “But I know you.”
In panic Jack turns around, as if suspecting to see someone standing behind him, but the sight of the dark tunnel does not give him any more comfort. Turning around again almost makes him trip, and the girl is still sitting there watching him with her glistening eyes. Trying to think clear, Jack rubs his forehead and says: “Aren’t you cold?” Trying to find logic in his thoughts, “Y-you are not wearing a jacket. It’s damn cold out here.”
“I know.” She says. “It keeps them away.” Jack’s legs get numb. “W-what are you talking about… My God, if this is a jo-”
“Jack...” With eyes open wide, but otherwise paralysed, Jack watches her. “Go away please, Jack.”
The girl starts moaning again, but continues talking. “Jack, please go away.”
Jack does not leave, but just stands there, watching the girl. The flickering shows his face in different lights, as if the muscles move and change his expression with the speed of lightning. But all expressions are blank. As if lost in thought, as if not acknowledging that she is there. But then his eyes focus on her again, still no emotion showing in his face.
The girl now starts crying and she screams: “GO AWAY!” Her scream echoes through the subways, as the deafening screeching of a metro. She hides her face again, as the echo slowly dies. She braces herself as if expecting a killing blow, which is not coming. Then it is silent again. Her eyes open in her arms, she hears Jack.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
Something I thought of, and wanted to write about. It turned out to be another short story :P

If you are wondering who Jack really is to me, I can post a small explanation later. I just hope that the idea is not too abstract.
Enjoy!
© 2014 - 2024 Jorlog
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AwkardOddOne's avatar
I do like this, even with small easy to fix glares. Space between paragraphs would help it be less blocky. And also take this in mind when people are speaking:

“Jack...” she speaks with a soft voice, sounding sweet if not for the eerie moaning seconds before.

“Yes, I’m here. Are you alr…” Jack stops in the middle of his sentence. He frowns and bends in a vain attempt to see more of her face. “Who are you?”

She in turn does not take her eyes off of his, and follows his every movement. Her eyes look bright blue, maybe even grey, but it’s too dark to know for sure.

And later on . . .

“I know.” She says. “It keeps them away.”

Jack’s legs get numb, at a sight, in uncertainly speaks. “W-what are you talking about… My God, if this is a jo-”

But other than that, again, I liked this very much.